Cherry and Alice in Wonderland: chapter 9

After walking through the woods for a good while, the girls finally found a house, they hoped and supposed belonged to the Mad Hatter and/or the March Hare. 

"How very curious." Alice said to herself as they came closer.

The girls heard some happy music and walked to the gate to see two figures in the garden having some sort of party. The girls sneaked inside and they looked over to see several teacups and teapots with an elder man and a caramel furred rabbit, or a hare, singing to each other. 

Mad Hatter: A very, merry unbirthday

March Hare: A very, merry, unbirthday

Both: A very, merry, unbirthday to us!

The girls kept looking around and saw the strange pair still singing and having their tea party. 

March Hare: A very, merry, unbirthday to me

Mad Hatter: To who?

March Hare: To me!

Mad Hatter: Oh, you!

March Hare: A very, merry, unbirthday to you

Mad Hatter: Who, me?

March Hare: Yes, you!

Mad Hatter: Oh, me!

March Hare: Let's all congratulate us
With another cup of tea
A very, merry, unbirthday
TOOOOOO YOOOOU!

The two finished their song and heard distant clapping. The hare and hatter saw that they weren't alone and saw the girls successfuly sneaking into their party. "No room, no room, no room!" the two covered the table, glaring at the girls.

"But we thought there was plenty of room!" Alice protested, sitting in a chair.

"Ah, but it's very rude to sit down without being invited!" the Hare scolded.

"I'll say it's rude, it's very, very rude indeed!" the Hatter agreed.

"Very, very rude indeed..." a mouse in a teapot said, drearily going back in the pot.

"Oh, sorry..." Cherry said, stepping back to get out and go where they wouldn't be trespassers.

"But, we did really enjoy your singing," Alice explained. "And we thought--"

"You enjoyed OUR singing!?" the Hare jumped, eagerly.

"Oh, what delightful children!" the Hatter grinned. "I'm so excited, we never get compliments! You must have cups of tea!"

"Ah, yes, indeed, the tea, you must have some cups of tea." the Hare offered, pouring them each a cup.

"Hate the stuff." Cherry winced in disgust.

"That would be very nice," Alice smiled apologetically to the pair. "And I'm sorry that we interrupted your birthday party."

"Birthday?" the Hare took the cup back, laughing. "My dear children, this is not a birthday party!"

"Of course not," the Hatter explained, pouring himself a cup of tea. "This is an un-birthday party."

"Un-birthday?" the girls asked.

"What's an un-birthday?" Cherry wondered.

"It's very simple, now 30 days have Sept--No," the Hare stepped back, trying to think and scratched his head with ear. He then settled himself to explain to the girls, seeing as they weren't native to Wonderland. "When... An un-birthday, if you have a birthday, then you...They don't know what an un-birthday is." he chuckled a little, pointing at the girls.

"How, silly!" the Hatter laughed wildly. He then sprayed himself to clear his throat. "I shall  ellusinate!"

The girls stood by and waited to be told what happens on un-birthdays and not birthdays. Alice looked very excited to find out, and Cherry looked curious as well, but anxious to get home. 

"Now, statistics prove, prove that you've one birthday." the Hatter spoke up again.

"Imagine, just one birthday, every year!" the Hare added.

"Ah, but there are 364 un-birthdays!"

"Precisely, why we're gathered here to cheer!"

"Then today is my un-birthday too!" Alice beamed, now understanding.

"Mine too!" Cherry chirped.

"It is!?" the Hare asked, looking excited.

"What a small world it is." the Hatter commented.

"In that case!" the Hare dashed to dance around Cherry and Alice with the assistance of his friend, the Hatter. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad to have met the mad people. 

Hare: A very, merry un-birthday

Alice: To us?

Hatter: To you!

The Hatter took off his hat to show a pink cake for the girls with two burning candles for both of them. 

Hare: A very, merry, un-birthday

Cherry: For us?

Hatter: For you
Now, blow the candles out, my dears
And make your wishes come true

Hare & Hatter: A very, merry, un-birthday to you!

Cherry and Alice looked at each other with smiles, then back at the cake. They both then took deep breaths and blew out the candle, which went off like a rocket instantly. The cake then exploded before their eyes and looked like fireworks, and the little mouse from earlier came out with a tiny umbrella, slowly falling through the sky.

Mouse: Twinkle, twinkle, little bat
How I wonder what you at
Up above the world you fly

Like a tea tray in the sky
The Hare closed the pot as the mouse flew right back into it. 

"That was lovely." Alice applauded.

"And, uh, now, my dears, you were saying that you would like to sit, you were seeking some information of some kind..." the Hatter said, dipping a tiny plate into tea like chips and dip, even biting into it.

Cherry squirmed once she saw that, but Alice didn't seem to really notice it.

"Oh, yes, you see, we're looking for a--" Alice tried to explain, but the hare and hatter shot up, suddenly.

"Clean cup, clean cup! Move down, move down, move down!" the Hatter caleld out, throwing cups in the air with the Hare.

Cherry rushed down while Alice was held to follow. They were now in a different spot and set.

"What was that all about?" Cherry looked around, strangely.

"It's customary!" the Hare told her.

Cherry rolled her eyes.

"Would you like a little more tea?" the Hatter asked, with a three-spouted teapot. 

"Well, I haven't had any yet, so I can't take more..." Alice said, trying to pour herself a cup, but nothing came out of the pot she had.

"You mean you can't very well take less!" the Hare corrected.

"Ow, my head..." Cherry moaned from the insanity in the party, rubbing her head and looking around. "Where are we and why aren't we home?"

"Now, my dears, something seems to be troubling you all," the Hatter spoke up, patting Cherry's head and looking at her and Alice. "Won't you tell us all about it?"

"Start at the beginning." the Hare added.

"Yes, yes, and when you get to the end, stop! See?" the Hatter giggled a little.

"Well, it all started when we were sitting on the riverbank with Dinah." Alice began.

"Very interesting," the Hare took a sip of tea, then slammed it down, dangling his tongue and panting. "Who's Dinah?"

"Well, Dinah's her cat, you see..." Cherry explained.

"CAT!" the mouse crawled out of the teapot once he heard that dreaded word his species knows all too well. "CAT!" he went in a frenzy while the Hare and Hatter were trying to capture him.

Alice and Cherry sat, confused. They were then told to get some jam. Alice took it and did as told, putting the jam on the mouse's nose as he had his little episode. He then started to settle down a little and relax. 

"See all the trouble you started?" the Hare glared at Cherry.

"But, really, I didn't think--" Cherry tried to explain.

"Ah, but that's the point! If you don't think, you shouldn't talk!" the Hare scolded her. 

Cherry and Alice were about to speak up, until the Mad Hatter had another one of his clean cup fits. "Clean cup! Clean cup! Move down, move down, move down!"

"But, I still haven't used--" Alice tried to protest.

"Move down!" the Mad Hatter called until she would move.

The others moved as told and sat in another spot. This was indeed the craziest tea party in history. 

"And now, my dears, you were saying?" the Hatter said, feeling calm now.

"Oh, yes," Alice decided to explain. "We were sitting on the riverbank with uh... You know who..."

"I do?" the Hatter asked, laughing wildly.

"I mean my C-A-T." Alice spelled so they wouldn't have another mouse explosion.

"Tea?" the Hatter took out a teapot with an eager smile.

"Just half a cup if you don't mind." the Hare said, cutting his cup in half with a knife.

The Hatter smiled, pouring a cup of tea for him. "Come, come, my dears, don't you two care for tea?"

"Only when I'm sick and it's warm with honey." Cherry answered.

"Why yes, I'm very fond of tea," Alice said. "But--"

"If you don't care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation!" the Hare snapped.

"We've been trying to ask you!" Cherry tried to cut in, but no one would listen to her.

"I have an excellent idea, let's change the subject." the Hare suggested, hitting the Hatter on the head with a mallet.

The Hatter didn't look very injured, but removed his hat. "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

"WHAT!?" Cherry sputtered out.

"Riddles?" Alice sounded confused and intrigued. "Let me see now, why is a raven like a writing desk?"

"I beg your pardon?" the Hatter asked.

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?" Alice echoed his previous question.

"What is a WHAT!?" the Hatter sounded shocked.

"They're stark raving mad!" the Hare shivered behind him.

"But it's your silly riddle!" Alice stood up. "You said--"

"Very good?" the Hatter offered as he started to back up away from the girls with the Hare.

"H-H-How about a nice cup of tea?" the Hare offered.

"How about a cup of tea, indeed!" Alice snapped. 

"I'm sorry, sirs, but we don't have the time!" Cherry hissed.

"The time! The time! Who's got the time?" the Hare shouted out.

Suddenly, there came a familiar animal to the girls, crashing the tea party.

"The white rabbit!" the girls cried.

"Oh, I'm so late! I'm so, very, very late!" the rabbit cried.

"Well, no wonder you're late," the Hatter took his watch, yanking it around his neck. "Why, this clock is exactly two days slow!"

"Two days slow?" the rabbit asked, nervously.

"Of course you're late," the Hatter laughed, dipping the watch in a teapot and slamming it on the table and took off the face of the watch. "Let's have a look!" he poured salt and took out the gears with a fork. "This watch is full of wheels!"

The white rabbit was having a terrible day, what with his house and now his prized watch. "Oh, my good watch! Oh, my wheels! Oh, my springs! B-B-B-B-but!"

"Butter! Of course, we need some butter!"

"Butter!"

The Hare went to get some butter. He handed it to the white rabbit and he took it, giving it to the Mad Hatter.

"He's having a bad day." Cherry pointed to the poor white rabbit.

"Thank you, butter, yes, that's fine." the Hatter spread some butter in the watch.

"Oh, no! You'll get crumbs in it!" the white rabbit cried.

"Oh, this is the very best butter! What're you talking about?"

"Tea?" the Hare suggested to the hatter.

"Oh, I never thought of tea, of course!" the Hatter was on his way to pour the tea while the Hare suggested things for the watch.

They went from butter, to now jam, and even two spoons of sugar. It nearly got a lot worse when the Hare suggested mustard, but even he thought that was a silly idea. He thought lemon juice would be a lot better. They all watched as the watch was done, but it started to spring up and go nuts in front of them due  to what had been put inside of it. 

"Look at that!" the Hatter exclaimed.

"It's going mad!" the Hare shouted.

"Oh, my goodness!" Alice sounded worried.

"This is sick." Cherry commented.

"Oh, dear!" the white rabbit said.

"Mad watch! Mad watch!" the Hare called as the watch continued to go berserk. "There's only one way to stop a mad watch!" he then slammed it with a mallet, shattering it into pieces.

"Two days slow, that's what it is." the Hatter said.

"Oh, my watch..." the white rabbit sniffled.

Cherry hugged him close, patting his back.

"It was?" the Hatter asked the rabbit.

"And it was an un-birthday present too..." the white rabbit cried into Cherry's shirt.

"In that case!" the Hare yanked the rabbit away from Cherry.

The Hare and Hatter then grabbed the white rabbit by the hands singing the song to him and throwing him out of their garden. 

"Mr. Rabbit! Oh, Mr. Rabbit!" Alice dashed away to catch up with him. "Coming, Cherry?"

Cherry looked at the tea party still going on. She then shuddered and left with Alice to look for the white rabbit. It would be a lot better than being with those two chuckle heads.

"Now, where did he get to?" Alice asked herself.

"Anywhere but here." Cherry said, helping her look.

Alice looked back at the hare and hatter. "Of all the silly nonsense, this is the stupidest tea party I've ever been to all my life." 

Cherry and Alice kept walking.

"Hey, I just understood that riddle!" Cherry spoke up.

"Oh, Cherry, not now." Alice told her.

Cherry shrugged and kept following as they came into the woods.